Church Music
A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church.
When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church."
The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."
The New Moses
A Rabbi's wife called a psychiatrist and said, "My husband thinks he's the new Moses. Almost like a reincarnation!" The doctor assured her that these delusions of grandeur were only a passing fancy.
"OK." she responded. "But in the meantime, how do I keep him from parting the waters in the hot-tub?"
Your time is not yet up! A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me God replied, "I didn't recognize you!"
from out of the path of the ambulance?"
Good jokes, my friend. Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Joe | Saturday, January 21, 2006 at 08:52 PM